Catflabarf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, humorless elephant.

Catflabarf created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Catflabarf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Catflabarf, she will turn you into a worm.

Catflabarf's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Catflabarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not take Catflabarf's name in vain.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.