Cumvolqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking whale.

Cumvolqueeg created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumvolqueeg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cumvolqueeg, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Cumvolqueeg's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Cumvolqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cumvolqueeg.

5. Hide from black goats for they are unholy.