Jopdumbell is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, quiet whale.

Jopdumbell created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Jopdumbell, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jopdumbell, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Jopdumbell's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Jopdumbell's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Jopdumbell in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not hurt hamsters.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. You must pray to Jopdumbell five times a day.