Gabganfod is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, blissful capybara.

Gabganfod created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabganfod, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gabganfod, she will be very unhappy.

Gabganfod's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gabganfod's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven seals approach from the east.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Hide from orange snails for they are unholy.

4. Hide if nine ants approach from the north.

5. Do not chop down trees.