Cumrenbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cumrenbeg created the Virgo Supercluster three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumrenbeg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cumrenbeg, it will be very sad.

Cumrenbeg's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Cumrenbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.