Hogpangpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, weak dove.

Hogpangpid created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogpangpid, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hogpangpid, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hogpangpid's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hogpangpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Retreat if four eagles approach from the south.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Hogpangpid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never skip in the presence of ducks.