Pagtonhug is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, duplicitous ferret.

Pagtonhug created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagtonhug, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pagtonhug, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pagtonhug's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Pagtonhug's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Never paint your legs purple.

4. Erect six copper sculptures of Pagtonhug on top of important buildings.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.