Xuckcemkam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, loving fish.

Xuckcemkam created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckcemkam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xuckcemkam, it will refuse to believe in you.

Xuckcemkam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Xuckcemkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Do not take Xuckcemkam's name in vain.

3. Always wear plain skirts during rituals.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think ill of sick snails.