Hitmidmobbag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy penguin.

Hitmidmobbag created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitmidmobbag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hitmidmobbag, he will send you a sign.

Hitmidmobbag's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hitmidmobbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shirts before touching gold.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not prepare nuts while filled with anger.

5. Never talk about fire.