Fatsandnan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent manatee.

Fatsandnan created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatsandnan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fatsandnan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fatsandnan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Fatsandnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Never think about spacetime near sheep while wearing red dresses and balancing four tin spheres on your chest.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Fatsandnan loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

5. Always stare at clouds.