Guborttaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful centipede.

Guborttaf created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guborttaf, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Guborttaf, she will turn you into a rat.

Guborttaf's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Guborttaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.