Hamvindaglog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, prudent armadillo.

Hamvindaglog created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamvindaglog, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hamvindaglog, he will make you grow a tail.

Hamvindaglog's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hamvindaglog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Never talk about turtles.