Fetjongamsadlenlimarp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, blissful seal.

Fetjongamsadlenlimarp created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetjongamsadlenlimarp, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fetjongamsadlenlimarp, she will turn you into a mole.

Fetjongamsadlenlimarp's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fetjongamsadlenlimarp's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetjongamsadlenlimarp.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.