Batlenfen is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, effective alligator.

Batlenfen created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Batlenfen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Batlenfen, it will destroy your favourite star.

Batlenfen's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Batlenfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Batlenfen on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.