Bifgubtonkquagcut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, flying mole.

Bifgubtonkquagcut created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bifgubtonkquagcut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bifgubtonkquagcut, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bifgubtonkquagcut's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bifgubtonkquagcut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Bifgubtonkquagcut on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bifgubtonkquagcut on top of all buildings.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Bifgubtonkquagcut in the centre of the settlement.