Bastxenbaffat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate pigeon.

Bastxenbaffat created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastxenbaffat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bastxenbaffat, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bastxenbaffat's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bastxenbaffat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never wear dresses.