Appbagjat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, self-confident newt.

Appbagjat created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appbagjat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Appbagjat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Appbagjat's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Appbagjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near sheep while wearing fawn kilts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your feet.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Hide from orange snails for they are unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.