Geptapkab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking armadillo.

Geptapkab created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Geptapkab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Geptapkab, he will turn you into a goat.

Geptapkab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Geptapkab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about optics near moths while wearing yellow coats and balancing five silicon spheres on your legs.

3. Put Geptapkab first in all things.

4. Do not take Geptapkab's name in vain.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near rats while wearing fawn rings and balancing seven iron spheres on your neck.