Lakruttyok is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, generous whale.

Lakruttyok created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakruttyok, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakruttyok, she will turn you into a sheep.

Lakruttyok's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Lakruttyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mice.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.