Nakvolcudbiflim is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, staggering armadillo.

Nakvolcudbiflim created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Nakvolcudbiflim, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nakvolcudbiflim, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Nakvolcudbiflim's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Nakvolcudbiflim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Retreat if seven snakes approach from the west.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Nakvolcudbiflim loves cats, so they must be respected.