Tagbanhadominquag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unselfish sheep.

Tagbanhadominquag created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagbanhadominquag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tagbanhadominquag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tagbanhadominquag's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tagbanhadominquag's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Tagbanhadominquag on top of all buildings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always share bread with strangers, but never with sharks.