Kengigyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered faun.

Kengigyarl created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kengigyarl, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kengigyarl, he will turn you into a goat.

Kengigyarl's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Kengigyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near aardvarks while wearing fawn skirts and balancing four lead spheres on your legs.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never sprint near tapirs.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.