Dabfutwit is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciful weasel.

Dabfutwit created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabfutwit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dabfutwit, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dabfutwit's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dabfutwit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never feed tomatoes to goats while wearing red shorts.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.