Tarpnartyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a large, irritating zebra.

Tarpnartyarp created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnartyarp, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tarpnartyarp, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tarpnartyarp's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tarpnartyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Tarpnartyarp loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never wear purple ear rings.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Hide if nine eagles approach from the east.