Tadlatmip Taghaplen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic bear.

Tadlatmip Taghaplen created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadlatmip Taghaplen, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tadlatmip Taghaplen, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tadlatmip Taghaplen's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tadlatmip Taghaplen's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near grasshopers.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Never write about asteroids.