Labbafcan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful owl.

Labbafcan created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labbafcan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Labbafcan, he will not care at all.

Labbafcan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Labbafcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always help sick eagles.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never write about asteroids.