Fennansak Bimsasquat is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omniscient fox.

Fennansak Bimsasquat created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fennansak Bimsasquat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fennansak Bimsasquat, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fennansak Bimsasquat's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fennansak Bimsasquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never think about quantum gravity.

3. Never feed lots of limes to grasshopers while wearing violet jumpers.

4. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never feed onions to swans while wearing skirts.