Bestlabomt is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, stupid mole.

Bestlabomt created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestlabomt, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bestlabomt, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bestlabomt's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bestlabomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn stockings.

2. Run away if six squirrels approach from the north.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Turtles are not to be trusted.