Gatstigged is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, intelligent wolf.

Gatstigged created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Gatstigged, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gatstigged, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gatstigged's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Gatstigged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never feed parsnips to shrews while wearing coats.

5. Do not chop down trees.