Teenhittof is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, pitiless crow.

Teenhittof created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenhittof, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Teenhittof, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Teenhittof's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Teenhittof's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Hide if five swans approach from the east.