Timgepjop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful lion.

Timgepjop created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timgepjop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Timgepjop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Timgepjop's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Timgepjop's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.