Jipnutdodgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, humane gerbil.

Jipnutdodgut created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipnutdodgut, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipnutdodgut, he will send you a sign.

Jipnutdodgut's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jipnutdodgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing indigo shorts and balancing eight silver spheres on your hands.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Do not hurt tapirs.