Mabgupnig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless fairy.

Mabgupnig created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabgupnig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mabgupnig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Mabgupnig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Mabgupnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mabgupnig's priests.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Mabgupnig on top of all buildings.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never wear yellow jumpers.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Mabgupnig.