Zigwonlig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unfair cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zigwonlig created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigwonlig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zigwonlig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Zigwonlig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Zigwonlig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Do not drink alcohol.