Pakmithasjen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, competent squid.

Pakmithasjen created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakmithasjen, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pakmithasjen, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pakmithasjen's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pakmithasjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Pakmithasjen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never travel toward the east during summer.

4. Do not name children after swans.

5. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.