Wegcatxem is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable duck.

Wegcatxem created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wegcatxem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wegcatxem, it will turn you into a worm.

Wegcatxem's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Wegcatxem's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

3. Wegcatxem must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Respect your elders.