Quafspagbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, tranquil duck.

Quafspagbonk created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafspagbonk, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quafspagbonk, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quafspagbonk's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Quafspagbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quafspagbonk.

3. Erect six lead sculptures of Quafspagbonk on top of important buildings.

4. Feed all hungry seals.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.