Jadfunbog is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional mongoose.

Jadfunbog created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadfunbog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jadfunbog, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jadfunbog's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Jadfunbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Jadfunbog must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not keep five turtles in a large pit.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.