Yarlwik is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, blissful raven.

Yarlwik created the Andromeda Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlwik, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarlwik, she will turn you into a goat.

Yarlwik's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Yarlwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Never sprint in the presence of eagles.

3. Do not run at crossroads.

4. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

5. Never play with disobedient children.