Flatlopdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unfair warg.

Flatlopdoss created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatlopdoss, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flatlopdoss, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flatlopdoss' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Flatlopdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never paint your chest blue.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flatlopdoss.