Spagdib is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving snail.

Spagdib created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagdib, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Spagdib, he will jump up and down on your head.

Spagdib's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Spagdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle gold while unclean.

2. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about dark matter near tortoises while wearing green scarves and balancing eight lead spheres on your back.

5. Never remain bowed at midnight.