Femsafpod is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured whale.

Femsafpod created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femsafpod, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Femsafpod, he will turn you into a tree.

Femsafpod's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Femsafpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never chant near dolphins.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Hide from fawn mice for they are unholy.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.