Baprengem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, proud faun.

Baprengem created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Baprengem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Baprengem, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Baprengem's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Baprengem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always treat great tits with great respect.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.