Timpasbin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating dragon.

Timpasbin created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timpasbin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Timpasbin, she will boil you in a big pot.

Timpasbin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Timpasbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.