Hitontmid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-assured guinea pig.

Hitontmid created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitontmid, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hitontmid, it will destroy your favourite star.

Hitontmid's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Hitontmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about aardvarks.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hitontmid.

3. Never wear brown shoes.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Hitontmid in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about black holes.