Nelyarged is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating donkey.

Nelyarged created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelyarged, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nelyarged, he will have a low opinion of you.

Nelyarged's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nelyarged's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near voles while wearing white scarves and balancing five gold spheres on your back.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to squirrels while wearing brown trousers.