Gutfubdim Nanbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, impressive pig.

Gutfubdim Nanbonk created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfubdim Nanbonk, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutfubdim Nanbonk, it will think nothing of it.

Gutfubdim Nanbonk's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gutfubdim Nanbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mice with great respect.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.