Himquartmil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witty wyrm.

Himquartmil created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Himquartmil, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Himquartmil, she will turn you into a sheep.

Himquartmil's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Himquartmil's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Retreat if four horses approach from the east.