Futtimtad Dosszigxen Karlannuttip is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, merciless dragonfly.

Futtimtad Dosszigxen Karlannuttip created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futtimtad Dosszigxen Karlannuttip, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Futtimtad Dosszigxen Karlannuttip, he will turn you into a slug.

Futtimtad Dosszigxen Karlannuttip's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Futtimtad Dosszigxen Karlannuttip's Holy Commandments

1. Futtimtad Dosszigxen Karlannuttip loves rats, so they must be respected.

2. Retreat if six eagles approach from the west.

3. Never wear pink rings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about archaea.