Zigpinvan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful human.

Zigpinvan created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigpinvan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zigpinvan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zigpinvan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Zigpinvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Rats are not to be trusted.