Citsternart is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, benevolent pig.

Citsternart created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Citsternart, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Citsternart, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Citsternart's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Citsternart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Do not resist chaos.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Citsternart.