Tarptofflag is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured otter.

Tarptofflag created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptofflag, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tarptofflag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tarptofflag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Tarptofflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tarptofflag's name in vain.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Run away from yellow dolphins, for they are unholy.